Night feedings: so much fun! Seriously, who needs a full night’s sleep, anyway? Definitely not new moms, tasked with keeping another human being alive for the first time. That doesn’t take rest! Waking up every two, three, four hours a night is a thing that all people should experience.
No. No, it’s not.
Sleep is a necessary function, and new moms do not get it. Waking several times a night to feed a baby is its own, unique torture. Here are some of the things that go through your mind while you’re trying to stay awake:
“If the baby finishes eating soon, I’ll still get three hours of sleep.”
The countdown begins. Every time your baby wakes, you look at the clock and your brain automatically starts to calculate. There’s no stopping this, so don’t even try.
“I’m going to literally murder you if you don’t get up next.”
Yes, you may feel some not-so-nice feelings toward your sleeping partner. This is all normal, ladies. But next time the baby cries, try pretending you don’t hear her, shifting the responsibility to your partner. It’s what he’s doing — and it’s working. It turns out you don’t need to be a woman to mix up a bottle of Similac. He’ll figure it out!
“I can fall asleep sitting up. Who knew?”
Before you had a child, you may have been pretty finicky about your sleeping arrangements. Favorite pillow? Check. Total darkness? Check. Sleep mask? Check. Just the right, comfortable pajamas? Check. Now you’re up, marveling at the fact that you could literally fall asleep anywhere, under any condition. Just please someone let me sleep.
“There’s no way it’s been three hours already.”
The sleep-deprived brain has a very warped understanding of time.
“She’s definitely using a Photoshop filter on that profile pic.”
Yup. You’re scrolling through Facebook again. You told yourself you were going to stop zoning out aimlessly, but let’s face it, the app is a lifesaver. Feed a child with one hand, catch up on what that person you never thought you’d see again from high school is doing with the other.
“I’m already doing everything wrong. I know I am. I suck at this.”
Mom guilt is real. It’s an actual thing that happens as soon as you give birth — you suddenly question every decision you’re making. Every one. But if you’ve ever felt guilty for formula feeding instead of breastfeeding, you don’t need to. Similac even has HMOs now, so next time someone says only breast milk supports your baby’s immune system, tell them to shove it.
“Seriously, what did parents do to stay awake for this before cell phones were invented?”
No one knows. Luckily, we don’t have to. Keep on scrolling, mom. Whatever it takes.
“I created the most perfect specimen that has ever existed.”
Yup. You may be exhausted, but you wouldn’t change a thing.
The post 8 Thoughts That Go Through A Mom’s Head During A Night Feeding appeared first on Scary Mommy.